Where does she fit in?
Wants to be wanted
Boy or girl
Should she be made to make a choice?
Are they trying to confuse?
Growing and changing
Tries to fit the mould
But it is an obscure thing
She wants to fit in
She cannot fit in
She will not fit this mould
Not a magazine picture
She wants to be in 3D
She’s a Technicolor person
But only the grays are allowed
Aiming to please
Longing to be loved
She tries to curb and bend
But almost explodes out
Insanity is around the corner
She needs to be saved
The cage that’s built around her
It will not be broken down
It lasts forever
But slowly cracks appear
Technicolor shards pour out
Most will just ignore them
But some will see
The Technicolor person inside of me
I haven’t had much time to post these days, still working through the mountain of paperwork, but I did make some photo’s so here goes:
On saturday son 4 had his 15th birthday and his brothers and dad came visiting
Birthday boy showing off a present to granddad and grandma
Son 3 playing with my chair
I have not been knitting much
Let’s Knit was in the mail!
There was a nice article in it about knitting through time
Also a door to a new and hopefully brighter future is opening
Hello dear readers,
This morning I was a bit slow getting up, no time to walk the dogs before breakfast. Every morning I have to see to it that son 4 goes to school with something in his belly, takes his ritalin and packs all the right books and his lunchbox. He is getting better at doing everything himself but I still have to check to keep him out of trouble at school. They don’t seem to get that ADD is not something that magically disappears when you have a coach to guide you twice a week and that he is not forgetful on purpose. They still think punishment will help him remember to bring the right books or keep an appointment.
Anyway, as I was going to go out with our dogs after he had gone off to school, I was no longer in a rush to get back home. So we took the path up to the dyke and walked along it a bit further than usual. I am still amazed sometimes that I am able to do so, just six months ago I would have needed a wheelchair to go this far and now look at me! Admittedly I am glad to get back home and rest for a bit, because I still feel my back, but I am slowly but surely progressing every day and pushing myself to go al little further every time. It is good exercise and combined with callanetics and healthy eating habits it has made me lose seven kilo’s already.
Looking down on the pond where I usually walk
Binti and Chewbacca have spotted some ducks
I found the video at the bottom of this post on http://karboojeh.wordpress.com and I thank
It is like the quote I hold dear: “also avoid every loveless thought” from “the book of the living God” by Bô Yin Râ
A wonderful rule to live by, but also one of the hardest rules if you want to apply it always. But that shouldn’t stop us from trying I think.
It’s saturday evening and finally time to sit down and write my post.
It has been a busy day with chores and shopping for groceries, visiting son 1 and re-homing one of son 4’s guinea pigs. We had lovely weather today, not at all what was expected (which was rain) and we could even spend some time outside in the sun.
I was up early this morning, did my exercises (I have lost 6 kilo’s by the way!) and went outside with the dogs. Binti is no longer in heat so she and Chewbacca can once again have their walks together much to their delight. They were quite adventurous this morning wanting to go off exploring together…
The sun was already shining through the trees creating a mystical atmosphere. I just love how quiet it is in the park at that early hour.
I had forgotten to put Chewbacca’s hair in a ‘topknot’ so his hair was all over the place.
There were a few brave little flowers
Next time I will have to bring my binoculars because I thought I saw Ruffs displaying in the distance, which is a rare sight.
Kemphaan balts, Philomachus pugnax
They were over by the pond in the distance.
It was just me and a lady runner on the dyke
I wish you could hear the birdsong all around
It’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been too busy picking up the pieces of my life to go online and I just couldn’t face speaking about what’s happened just yet.
What’s happened you ask?
Well it has been hanging over me like a horrible thundercloud for the past 10 years and finally I couldn’t avoid it any more, I had to end my marriage of 28 years and quite abruptly as well. I have tried very hard to win this battle but I just couldn’t compete with my husbands mental disorder any more, the disease has defeated me to the point where I can not afford to live with him under the same roof anymore if I still want to continue to have a roof in the future to live under.
I feel very let down by the mental health care system, for we have been trying to get help for a decade now and still there is no adequate help for him. We are all very sad that this has happened and we are grateful that we are still able to communicate well and do not have feelings of resentment towards each other.
These past days I have been trying to adjust to my new tasks like walking the dogs several times a day. I’m very glad that my back pain is less than before so I can manage with some help from my boys, who are very sweet and caring right now. We are spending a lot of quality time together .
Last weekend son 1 and dear daughter in law came to help put up the new polytunnel in the garden. It was raining but that didn’t bother them. The frame is up and some of the plastic went over it but some adjustments still have to be made to it.
This morning I took my camera with me when I went out to walk Binti in the park at the end of our street, it was still early and very quiet and still to suit my mood, come with me on my daily walk…
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do!