Last november I have moved to a different part of town to move in with my husband and give our marriage a second chance.
I was not sad at all to leave my old neighbourhood as too much drama had taken place there over the last two decades. In the time we lived there there had been drug abuse, terminal illnesses, broken relationships, suicides and murders among the people living on our street. Writing this it looks like a real bad place but it is a decent part of town with average families. I have had the feeling that something must be wrong with the spot itself for a while and the relief I felt once moved away confirmed this for me. I haven’t been able to find enough information to be sure but this is a bit of land that used to be outside the city-walls and could well have been a place where either a plague-house stood or worse a location where people were hanged. I do believe it is possible such strong emotions connected with death and illness can linger and stick to a location, disturbing the present.
In the new house there is nothing sinister, it’s just a lovely small place from the fifties and a big garden at the back in a quiet street.
The only thing we miss sometimes is the park I used to go to to walk the dogs. Although we are still on the edge of town there is not much opportunity to walk in a ‘ natural environment ‘ as we are surrounded by the town centre and shops, the railroad and the freeway.
This is as natural as it gets:
The freeway to the left, the road into town straight ahead and our neighbourhood to the right and behind me the railroad tracks.
This is how far I can walk now, although I have to rest for a while on a bench near those houses both ways, but I hope to get better and get beyond the bend in the road that leads away from town in time.
I take Binti with me when I go here and she has a great time sniffing around in the grass, the wind in her hair.
Hello dear readers,
This morning I was a bit slow getting up, no time to walk the dogs before breakfast. Every morning I have to see to it that son 4 goes to school with something in his belly, takes his ritalin and packs all the right books and his lunchbox. He is getting better at doing everything himself but I still have to check to keep him out of trouble at school. They don’t seem to get that ADD is not something that magically disappears when you have a coach to guide you twice a week and that he is not forgetful on purpose. They still think punishment will help him remember to bring the right books or keep an appointment.
Anyway, as I was going to go out with our dogs after he had gone off to school, I was no longer in a rush to get back home. So we took the path up to the dyke and walked along it a bit further than usual. I am still amazed sometimes that I am able to do so, just six months ago I would have needed a wheelchair to go this far and now look at me! Admittedly I am glad to get back home and rest for a bit, because I still feel my back, but I am slowly but surely progressing every day and pushing myself to go al little further every time. It is good exercise and combined with callanetics and healthy eating habits it has made me lose seven kilo’s already.
Looking down on the pond where I usually walk
Binti and Chewbacca have spotted some ducks
It’s saturday evening and finally time to sit down and write my post.
It has been a busy day with chores and shopping for groceries, visiting son 1 and re-homing one of son 4’s guinea pigs. We had lovely weather today, not at all what was expected (which was rain) and we could even spend some time outside in the sun.
I was up early this morning, did my exercises (I have lost 6 kilo’s by the way!) and went outside with the dogs. Binti is no longer in heat so she and Chewbacca can once again have their walks together much to their delight. They were quite adventurous this morning wanting to go off exploring together…
The sun was already shining through the trees creating a mystical atmosphere. I just love how quiet it is in the park at that early hour.
I had forgotten to put Chewbacca’s hair in a ‘topknot’ so his hair was all over the place.
There were a few brave little flowers
Next time I will have to bring my binoculars because I thought I saw Ruffs displaying in the distance, which is a rare sight.
Kemphaan balts, Philomachus pugnax
They were over by the pond in the distance.
It was just me and a lady runner on the dyke
I wish you could hear the birdsong all around
It’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been too busy picking up the pieces of my life to go online and I just couldn’t face speaking about what’s happened just yet.
What’s happened you ask?
Well it has been hanging over me like a horrible thundercloud for the past 10 years and finally I couldn’t avoid it any more, I had to end my marriage of 28 years and quite abruptly as well. I have tried very hard to win this battle but I just couldn’t compete with my husbands mental disorder any more, the disease has defeated me to the point where I can not afford to live with him under the same roof anymore if I still want to continue to have a roof in the future to live under.
I feel very let down by the mental health care system, for we have been trying to get help for a decade now and still there is no adequate help for him. We are all very sad that this has happened and we are grateful that we are still able to communicate well and do not have feelings of resentment towards each other.
These past days I have been trying to adjust to my new tasks like walking the dogs several times a day. I’m very glad that my back pain is less than before so I can manage with some help from my boys, who are very sweet and caring right now. We are spending a lot of quality time together .
Last weekend son 1 and dear daughter in law came to help put up the new polytunnel in the garden. It was raining but that didn’t bother them. The frame is up and some of the plastic went over it but some adjustments still have to be made to it.
This morning I took my camera with me when I went out to walk Binti in the park at the end of our street, it was still early and very quiet and still to suit my mood, come with me on my daily walk…
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do!
This morning I woke up in a misty world. Doing my exercise in front of my bedroom window wasn’t much fun with nothing much to look at. But now the sun’s coming out again and the mist is clearing up.
My Callanetics exercises are going well and I’m starting to notice some difference, I’m actually developing some muscles! Wow this really works! And it makes me feel full of energy in the morning. I’m definitely motivated to keep it up.
Last night I was in no mood for complicated stitching or knitting so I had some fun with the pages from an old book using kid’s glue (because I’m like a toddler with glue: I get it all over me 🙂 )
I am thinking about an idea with vintage paper and butterflies for my dad’s birthday I’ll be back soon with the results.
I leave you today with some pics of Binti on her new pink beanbag. We had this bag stored in the attic and it was destined for the charity shop but she jumped right on it and was so happy with it we decided to let her have fun with it this summer. She is going to have a very nice place to sleep when we’re in the garden!
Hope you have a very good day today!
I’ve been trying to avoid it but the inevitable has happened; the latest issue of ‘Let’s Knit’ was in the mail and I have started on a new project…
I had promised myself not to start anything new until my UFO’s were finished but hey who can resist a pattern with their name on it? 🙂
Looking for the yarn for this project I came across a bag I made this winter out of a bikini top
Yesterday afternoon the doggies and me were out enjoying the nice weather for a while
Looking out on to the street, hoping for a dog to pass so she can bark it off
sun worshipping Sholo loves lounging in the sun at my feet or…
even better still: in the sun in my lap
Yesterday I also started on my wish list so here’s the rest of it, some pretty pictures of yarn, I just love these colours
I leave you with a post about recycling book pages I found on Karboojeh’s blog
Hello my friends
It’s a beautiful sunny day, the washing is out on the line and I will definitely find a project to do outside later today.
As I said earlier, this is a difficult week, where painful decisions that have been long put off, will have to be made.
In a box of embroidery-stuff I found this :
I don’t remember where it came from, but it says: “Without love there isn’t much you can accomplish”. And I find it to be very true. When things get tough in your relationship with another person, wether it be a marriage or family relationship or friendship, you will need to purposefully search for the reasons why you love this person to be able to continue on with the relationship. And that can sometimes be a very hard thing to do, but if you will not make this effort to love, the relationship will be destined to end.
I also find it is helpful to remember happy times in general
Me holding a friend’s baby. I was this baby’s babysitter for a few months.
Or create your own happy times
Enjoying the sunshine with Binti
And knowing we all receive enough strength to overcome the hardships in our lives.
On a more cheerful note:
I am making progress on my cross stitching
Have a wonderful day